8 Crazy Nights (2002)

(3/10)

Absolute dogshit movie! I watched it with my friends on the last day of Hanukkah as a joke, thinking it would just be a kinda bad film but it was unbelievably obnoxious. The only merit is the stellar animation, but it honestly just makes it more painful in a way because you have this talent being wasted on these Family Guy tier jokes. There's a reoccurring joke about one of the characters having seizures when he's overstimulated (yes we're at that level, alongside many gross-out gags), and seeing that animated with real fluidity and not in some shitty flash-looking adult sitcome style is just jarring.

The only part of the film with any merit was the sort of climax where Sandler's protagonist reaches catharsis over his parents' holiday time death, something that I actually did sympathize with him for but all the surrounding writing is abysmal. He stumbles into the town mall drunk and hallucinates the mascots confronting him and telling him to let his feelings out. Very nice vocal performances and as I said, great animation.

The conclusion where the town decides to stop beating up on the comic-relief character was pleasant enough too, but unearned with how over the top, cruel, and ableist the film is overall. And of course the final joke is that the poor man is so excited by the validation he has a seizure again. As my friend commented: "The absolute state of 2000s comedy..."

12 Angry Men (1957)

(10/10)

This must've been my 4th rewatch of this film but it only gets better and better everytime. Especially now as it resonates a lot with some discussions I've been having with my mom (who I watched this with) about the health of the U.S.. We have a conceptually great, but in practice, very fragile system very susceptible to the kind of public indifference and intolerance displayed by our jury.

For a crazily well-acted and written hour and change, our juror 8 does some hardcore unpaid defense lawyering for a random slum kid whose life is left in the balance of this group of crotchety New Yorkers. The movie makes no bluff of how poorly this reflects upon the justice system and those everyday Americans who are supposed to be its shining stars, and when you make that bigger connection to the democratic system as a whole it kinda gets bleak. But it's also a lot of the warring perspectives of people in the room that create the biggest breakthroughs towards the not guilty verdict. It makes you remember too that no system is really worth its shit if it is not by the people and for the people.

So how do you combat the fact that 90% of Americans are anal jaggoffs who can barely even comprehend the weight of this system they participate in? You force them to care, you force them to think and learn. You fight for their right to contribute to these systems by getting sweaty AF fighting for the validity of skepticism and nuance like Juror 8! Or at least that's what the ever hopeful progressive democrat in my heart this movie stirs says. It's preachy but god is it just a great and evergreen film.

The Mask (1994)

(8/10)

Just a super fun movie to watch. I have a lot of random memories of it when I was younger, specifically just the opening for some damn reason, but the whole thing is pretty nostalgic just cause I have a lot of love for that like 90s-2000s golden age cartoon revivalism.

The way the film uses the CGI cartoon antics is really peculiar because it of course has that ugly, uncanny feel to it, but it almost feels intentional with the visual style being half played as thriller. It's lighthearted but a touch surreal in a way that sticks out to me a lot. Also found myself liking the main character a lot just on the basis that he is shown to be a Looney Tunes nerd out the wazoo which inspires his persona, and I respect a fellow goofy ass.

I imagine this is like Jekyll & Hyde but better.

Hazbin Hotel (2024)

(6.5/10)

I have a very very long history with Vivziepop and her creations. She was one of the most influential artists on me as a child, and even though I've long outgrown her style and charms, I can't help but see a piece of my younger self in her art. The part of me that just wanted to create whatever seemed cool as hell and didn't care, and that approach made art very freeing...

But it also made the art Bad. And something I am not proud of the way I am of my stories now which I research and refine and labor over. Because those are very important things to do as an adult who writes stories, especially if you're lucky enough to get your stuff out there and picked up by a studio and shown as a poster child of independent online animation. Hazbin Hotel is what happens when an adult writes like a child with way too many striking but skin-deep ideas that never really coalesce into a deeper picture. Which is disappointing deeply to me cause a lot of me still roots for the chance to see that picture of indulgent old sensibilities flourish.

I still had fun with the series, but it's something that will make you clutch your head in bewilderment at certain artistic choices and spend hours afterwards slowly letting a myriad more catch up to you. I look forward to season 2 unfortunately, mostly holding out that everything that has so intrigued me about Angel Dust's potential from Vivzie's hype comes to fruition. And that he and Husk become pals and hang out and complain gossip all day.

Scott Pilgrim v.s. The World (2010)

(10/10)

I do not know how you make a movie (especially a live-action one) fucking funnier than this film. I found the recent animated Scott Pilgrim series super fun, and figured I should give the older film a watch since I'm more of a movie person anyways. And though I think the animated adaption by merit of its medium aligning more with the comics gets more bang for its buck, I am blown away by how fucking packed with style this is for the sake of coolness and comedy.

It's so different from any other movie I've watched with how it uses the live-action setting to make the over the top shenanigans thrive in their ridiculousness without relying on a bunch of 3D CG to compensate. In a way Scott Pilgrim was perfect for this because it was always just about some really normal and lame ass people whose lives are heightened by these out of nowhere moments video game logic. I think it gets at that dissonance within the story that makes it so funny and gripping in a way that, yeah, you can't do with a cartoon, but also it took a lot of strong artistic direction to not lose anything in translation to live-action.

This might be one of my favorite live-action films ever for that now. I just love every fucking thing about it - the characters, the humor, the story, the vibes. If I were ever forced to make my own live-action anything I would want it to be pulling this sorta shit.

3D Workers Island (2024)

(10/10)

There isn't EVEN a place to begin with how outstanding 3DWI is as a piece of horror. From Mr. Petscop himself, we have another example of how the symbols of games and creepypasta can be twisted to produce these gut-wrenching and evocative images of trauma, exploitation, and helplessness that can be read so many different ways. And it's that uncertainty in them that really makes them hit, even as an interpreter there is just this undercurrent of restless distress you can't even process and it just burns in the best way!

A lot of people go for a very straightforwardly supernatural approach to this story, and from what I understand this was a problem with the Petscop community too, but this work really becomes a whole different ballgame when you open up to reading things as naturally motivated and trying to understand why. Are people actually magically transfixed to the screensaver, or are they just obsessed with its secrets and perversity the way entire communities form around such ideas in real life? Are the two Pat's actually the same, or are you just scared to imagine the kind of person who sympathizes with that game could be that real. And most harsh of all, what if those people on the secrets forum ARE lying? What does it mean if the game doesn't truly show anything, why does it matter so much to them and us if something happened in a screensaver when something clearly did happen to them in real life?

That question especially becomes relevant when you ask yourself where the accompanying images of the screensaver come from! Are they an objective display of evidence, or perhaps projections? The way that the owner of the secrets forum fears he will commit when looking through real windows, but which is safer to do when looking through those virtual? The screensaver may be 3D but the story is at least 2 planes higher, there is so much to unpack and fathom. But no matter what you take from it, it is painful and haunting despite being expressed in such masterfully obscured ways.

Pikmin (2001)

(9/10)

Such a brilliant game with amazing atmosphere, sound, game, and character design and all that. It's a lot rougher than its later installments, but in a way that makes you feel a lot more intimate with your pikmin army and the world. There's no switching off captains to manage more, and the Pikmin even when you're directly monitoring them are insanely stupid compared to later games. It almost made me stop pitying them at all, and that was a really unique emotion for me to feel with this series.

I also almost balked on the difficulty a bit in. The simplicity of the game sometimes makes it feel limited in options, and when I saw a whole cave of enemies between me and some of the last parts in The Distant Spring the challenge felt it'd be more tedious than challenging. It wasn't that bad and I'm happy I pushed through, in a way I really value how daunting enemy encounters felt in this game compared to the jokes some are in say, Pikmin 4.

The Distant Spring might be my favorite level now, because it captures the peak of the serene yet mysterious and cruel atmosphere of the game. A lot of it wouldn't mean all that much either if not for the great writing imbuing Olimar with a lot of charm. People talk a lot in the Pikmin community about a certain vibe the first has that has not really been touched yet, and yeah, I feel it, and I can see myself coming back to this game for it and its tight focus on time-management.

Cars (2006)

(6/10)

I've recently had a growing curiosity about Pixar's older catalogue which I've always just been kinda aware of without really knowing all that much. Cars seemed like a weird middle film between their really distinct stories like Wall-e and Toy Story and their more pop-focused stuff today, and that was def a right call.

It on the surface is just A Silly Cars Movie, but opens up to a lot more. A story about materialism, Americana, and all that good stuff, but it doesn't really stick like older Pixar films. I think it has an amazing sense of place and a real reverence for that western landscape it's situated in, but the supporting characters are very one-note gags for the most part and don't really feel like they populate this land and town that is supposed to mean so much. As well, McQueen was a funny shitty protagonist, but I didn't buy his character arc, making him just appear annoying the whole time to me.

Older Pixar has a real fetish for mid-century memorabilia that speaks to me a lot, and that's very clear in this film and its focus on a super mid-century vision of the West. I really want to love it and how the use of cars as characters creates a great cohesion between the caricature and theme, but it doesn't get as far as it needs to for a million little unfortunate reasons.

Gladiator II (2024)

(7/10)

Did not see the first one and only got roped into watching this for my ma's birthday. I was very hyped for it at first, as coming from 300 as my only other Ancient Guys movie it seemed like a real fresh of breath air not demonizing every brown person on screen or dick-riding the fuck out of a central power, but that sadly started to fade once the plot unfolded. It went from a cool sounding film about a Roman slave trying to regain his dignity from their corrupt asses into an estranged prince plot with a different EVIL slave as the villain and lost me.

I actually really want to point out a specific scene near the end of the film too because it highlights a very odd and unintentional racial/class politics in the film. So our main guy, Hanno/Lucius as I said is an estranged prince who was sent to a North African outpost as a child now later claimed by the Romans in his adulthood and he's taken to be a gladiator. He's bought by this African senator, Macrinus who was once enslaved himself and just wants to rule Rome in it's corruption, believing it is now all it will ever be. Lucius on the other hand cares about his father's old dream of a republic.

So in their final confrontation, Macrinus has Lucius pinned beneath the water (a whole symbol of the between and life and death cause it's well directed yadda yadda), and its only Lucius' chestplate, inherited from his father, that protects him and allows him to rise and slay Macrinus. Now I know this is supposed to be about son carrying on a noble dream, but it can also so easily be read as Lucius literally being protected by his bloodright privileges. You root for him as this prince of the slaves, but he always had an out that Macrinus never had and is bitter from fighting against.

Combine this with a lot of black nobodies who die early in the film, the only one he really mourns from his old life being his white wife, and you see how the film uses its controversial black characters as props to bolster Lucius' humble image. And even not looking at race, its a disingenuous representation of brutal class stratification between him as a slave with a man on the outside, and those doomed to Roman slavery with no out - white, brown, or black.

This is def the paranoid reading and like, there's plenty to like about the film on its own. But man, I'm never gonna be happy with Ancient Guys movies until I get my one actually about someone outside of these beloved ancient empires telling them to go fuck themselves.

Dogman (2025)

(7/10)

I would really like to rate this higher, cause I love these super energetic and stylized films and that Dreamworks pops out all the time nowadays, but the film on its own is not the strongest sadly. It's funny as hell in the dialogue and visuals department, but the story was all over the place. I have not read Dogman as it is a Pilkey creation past my time (Captain Underpants 5ever!), but it feels like it took that 'made by kids' part of the story and made it the main plot. Captain Underpants, the book and movie, had a more coherent plot about the kids in the real world who then wrote the silly over the top stories which bleed into their lives. I don't know if Dogman has that distinction in it, which absolutely probably makes a great chaotic kids book but is not the kind of experience that flows well for a movie.

It's definitely still really worth a watch if you just like fun little movies. It's version of those raw shots of childhood whimsy which Captain Underpants had through the boys' comics comes through with the lil kid who makes picture books about his attachment to the other characters, serving as an emotional beat a few times. In an already silly as hell world I'm surprised how uniquely sweet they still felt.

All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989)

(8/10)

Such a super interesting animated movie to watch. I used to say Don Bluth's films didn't appeal to me because they were, what I called, over-animated - filled to the brim with motion sometimes at the expense of clarity and appeal. And that's not untrue, but when you let it all soak in with the tone of the film it does come together, creating a very unique counterpart to Disney. It feels like a mix between that sense of quality and a Tex Avery-ish energy. Which is both odd and PERFECT for a story about a criminal getting a second chance at life after being murdered and struggling to place between heaven and hell.

But the magic is that this story is about a doggie! A silly cartoon doggie named Charlie who almost instantly wormed his way into my heart. Along with his lousy character - being introduced escaping doggie jail - he has such a charmingly scruffy design. When he makes a mean face he genuinely looks like he would be a villain in a more Disney-esque film like Lady and the Tramp (my triple-feature). I really love how this film gets away with so much through the use of silly cartoon dogs as allegory for terrible criminals, and I think there's a real value to letting children see a story filled with these lying scheming sorts, and getting to see the good in them as well.

It reminds me a lot of my father getting over a smoking addiction when I was younger, and my mother talking about her older relatives dragging her along when they go gambling or drinking. There are a lot of children who grow up in these environments and it likely doesn't feel good to only see characters reflecting it used as tools for flat villainy. Even to me now, there is this weight to the characters that comes with such a bold-faced vision of cartoon slum guys trying to help a kid.

To well contrast that griminess there are some really beautiful sequences in here, especially related to that titular heaven. At the beginning it's fluffy sterility is mostly used to make the excitement of Charlie's world more appealing by contrast, but this movie can get wonderfully corny, especially with Anne-Marie. It's funny to see a story like this where all the cuteness and innocence comes from the humans and not the animals - all the people are squeaky clean and oblivious to the world of dog criminals, gossiping race-horses, and the like - its refreshing.

Poor audio mixing and some odd writing at times measure among this movies top sins, but I got nothing but respect out the wazoo for this film. More cartoons about cartoon 'mature' shit for kids, please. There's this simultaneous naturalistic and over-the-top quality to the story that is so fun.

Lady and the Tramp (1955)

(9/10)

This might just be thee cheesiest Disney movie there is, and I love it so much for that. I've had a hankering for it lately, it's literally like a box of chocolates, this film. Lady may be one of my favorite cartoon animal lady designs out there, and I find Tramp endlessly delightful. These are characters that I could genuinely take like a whole spin-off series about with their parent misadventures, I think they're that strong.

What delights me to too is the ethnic (and at one point racist) humor too, coupled with the class romance plotline and freaking jokes about dog euthanasia here and there, which all-in-all give it such a wild tone despite its saccharinity. Paired with All Dogs Go To Heaven, its tackling of these sorts of lower-class struggle allegories is a little tacky, but that can be put on the upper-class point of view. And in a way, it still does touch on things ADGTH does not, such as Tramp's trampiness, to which the film excels at not saying the quiet part out loud. You have to respect the restraint.

The lushness of the picturesque turn of the century suburbs contrasts against ADGtH in a very interesting way too. That being that it does everything to make that world look lovely and appealing where Charlie blew it off. I can only imagine this classic was somewhere in the back of the Don Bluth animators' minds when they were making their own doggie class conflict film.

I think what I like most about this film was actually summed up by Nostalgia Critic of all people when he was talking about how the remake from some years ago rubbed him the wrong way. Basically, it was inoffensive in content, but insulting on a more spiritual level because Lady and the Tramp was a movie that clearly really respected itself and the audience in a way a cheap little remake didn't. It was a simple, dumb little fairytale about someone's dog being the sweetest little doll and getting into romantic hijinks, but it brought out a majesty to that which is really lacking in almost any mainstream animated kids film nowadays. That spirit is why I do love returning to classic Disney films no matter what, that evil man be damned he could direct a magical fucking film.

Aristocats (1971)

(100/10)

Nostalgia turned this double feature into a triple feature, and it was worth the sleep deprivation to watch my favorite childhood film again. Coming off the other two, which I see a lot more inherent artistic value in, I was beginning to imagine this would be the sort of cynical rewatch that took the magic out of a film for me, but quite the opposite happened! It's slower with getting to the good stuff, but really once O'Malley shows up and his chemistry with Duchess begins, this film jumps up so many levels. Like Lady and Tramp I could watch their antics forever - both are high level f/m ships for me.

As I mentioned, this is MY childhood film, but that doesn't even really begin it. This was the film I watched on repeat on DVD as a child with no cable access (along with Looney Tunes collections and QUBO). There's a very Hannah-Barbera kinda sensibility to the character designs while still being unmistakably Disney, which ties it in with the other jazzy cat shenanigans from other old cartoons of my childhood and makes it cozy as hell for me. It also meant a lot to me emotionally for understanding my own family, in the same way I hope ADGtH may have for some other kids. I saw my unmarried parents like Duchess and O'Malley, my mother being a classy lady and my dad more of a charming rogue. It was quite the romanticized vision, but still a lot closer to what I knew than some of the other couples available to me in media.

Like LatT there's that Disney subtlety to the writing, but now with some of that fairytale lushness dropped which matches the jump across a cultural revolution or two. It's a good ways between the two other films before, the fact that O'Malley is as much of a tramp as the Tramp, and that the alleycats are gangsters as much as the gambling dogs of ADGtH is something I never even fully processed till this rewatch. You pick up on so much more about the dynamics going from watching this as a kid till now, and there is a naturalistic quality to it that also still has me laughing at the lovely dumb jokes of the cast. This triple feature really dragged me through a good 35 years of sensibility changes through talking pet movies.

Despite all the shit it gets for being such a simple fun film, Aristocats is a film that will keep on giving if you open your heart up to it. Which is exactly what I value most in a children's story. Something light, artistically engaging (Everybody Wants To Be A Cat alone justifies the films existence), and which will have the child continue to think as they grow up with it. It's not the most mature morally, nor the most sophisticated, but it is incredibly dear to me. Actual rating is 9/10 again.

Hey There, It's Yogi Bear (1965)

(7/10)

A random nostalgic whim brought me to this - it was almost part of a QUADRUPLE feature with the last film, but it was not engaging enough to sit through in its entirety. This is just by definition a very mellifluous film. Just sweet ad nice and not really much else. As is the Yogi Bear, and assumedly by extension the whole Hanna-Barbera brand. I think the only thing that really makes it worth anything to me is my fetish for mid-century limited animation, and I've been watching a bit of Yogi Bear to get more familiar with it as an artistic inspiration.

Like those shorts, this is a sort of diet of the bigger animation giant in the room, for the show it was copying Looney Tunes, and this has some Disney vibes. At least just in the sense that by this time no one else had really perfected the animated movie by my knowledge. To its credit, it feels somewhat more like a movie than just an hour and a half episode, but not by that much. I just like looking at it and listening it it, its all very cohesive and pretty I s'pose.

Since there is so little else to say about it, I'll just rank the songs - the best parts of the film:

1. You For Me
2. Saint Louie
3. Whistle Your Way Back Home
4. Ash-can Parade
5. Ven-ee, Ven-o, Ven-ay

Crazy: Notes On And Off The Couch (2011)

(10/10)

Such a fun ride! From the first chapter alone the humor of this book dragged me straight in, and it was perfect the whole way through for its hilarity and sensitivity. The entire book is made of edited anecdotes of the therapist author and his many patients' flirts with insanity, with a great mix of therapeutic insight and empathy. None of the gags feel like they were really at the expensive of those seeking help, of if something said in the moment was, it was inevitably corrected with better perspective. This stands for stories of a depressed man dealing with pseudo-pedophilic thoughts to the final chapter where the author is thrust into a job rehabilitating actual sexual predators, and I don't remember a joke ever coming in at a time out of place.

In between, some of my favorite stories are another two with wildly different, but well-handled tones. In 4pm, Dobrenksi, the author and narrator, helps an older woman overcome the grieving process, and paints a vivid picture through reliance on quotes which let their persons and perspectives shine. Then on the other hand you have 1pm, where this boy genius with a way too many oddities to settle on is coached through his teen years with him, in a series of vignettes as funny as they are somewhat hard to believe. It makes me wonder just how edited some of these characters are from real people, whether they're a few outstanding anecdotes with the numbers filed off, or a conglomeration of disparate traits from a bunch of oddballs.

As distinct as all the stories are, Dobrenksi makes himself and a few colleagues re-occurring gags as well. Namely him entering a severe depression over the world's most predictable break-up which comes up in all its unfortunate absurdity from time to time, and his overly-vaselined baby-face from years of an odd habit losing him respect when he most needs it. These silly details about him help build that thesis of 'we're all kinda crazy' which makes this book a really good insight into the world of psychotherapy. There's a real shared understanding built between author, reader, and the subjects that I adore a lot. Really scratches a psychologist-comedian-absurdist itch in me.

Pikmin 2 (2001)

(8/10)

I have such mixed feelings about this game... On one hand it is that undoubtable step up from the first game with better and more expanded upon mechanics, but on the other hand, it's Pikmin-fucking-2. I entirely understand why this is the most controversial in the series, because it is simultaneously so genius and abrasive! If unaware, this game introduced caves to the series which broke up the formula of the fist game with these dungeons more focused on managing limited resources than your time. They're those kinda stressful little dungeons in Pikmin 4 if you've played that, but actually fucking evil.

Cramped hallways, falling rocks, bomb throwing enemies, and bottomless pits galore. Not to mention elements like electricity being insta-kill - something very easy to forget coming from the later games to my horror. I found myself with very little patience for this game compared to 1. Near the end of that one I had a few fleeting moments of challenge exhaustion, but here nearly every play session ended with a ragequit. But I also couldn't stop coming back! After a while I said I would compare the feeling of playing this game to work (as you see it when miserably unemployed): it is a drag and fries all your nerves, but the sense of satisfaction at overcoming terrible challenges and being rewarded is its own unique zen.

The rewards in this game (besides Number Go Up), was the large amount of flavor text from Olimar which were hypnotically fun to read. There was a eerie tranquility to the first game which made Olimar shine as a hero equal parts mundane and thus relatable, and whimsical. But seeing that character applied to this game where his trip to PNF-404 is just a part of work fleshes out that mundane side of his character in every way I could possible hope. The time spent between days going through the Piklopedia, listening to the actually divine composition of Flora and Fauna, and reading the musings of this space-trucker turned amateur biologist for a day is some of the best time spent in a video game, and it being sandwiched between the torment nexus of the caves contributes to that a lot I feel.

I would not expect this kind of experience from a Nintendo game, I think the closest may be something like the first Splatoon where you had a balance between colorful silliness and reading about an eerie background, but the key point there was the overall silliness. Instead here the default is the fun to aggravating stress of the main game, and then pockets of the silly and odd mixed together in the world-building. I just really do appreciate this game as an awesome, and unique experience through and through, but why does it want to hurt my feelings so much too?

Sonic Mania Plus - Encore Mode (2018)

(10/10)

My enjoyment of encore mode specifically is best understood in the context of why I was replaying this in general, which was to help with my original story concept Neonverse. SOnic is a series I have a really interesting relationship with due to having two separate phases for it when I was at very different times in my life. Sonic Mania pretty much caused that second phase for me, which had me reflecting a lot on my past in a way that really disoriented me at a time when I really should have been looking at the present and future for my identity, and that moment is what Neonverse is about.

It also primed in me what makes the liminal space horror trend so appealing to me now, and funny enough Encore Mode triggers that too. Mania was already this nostalgic romp indulging entirely in the past of the series and presumed audience, but now you also have encore mode which remixes the vibes and mechanics. The biggest change for me are the very superficial palette changes for the stages which mostly serve to change the time of day and by extension the entire thesis of these levels. Green Hill Zone during the day is an open playground, but at dusk it's the schoolyard as things wind down before everyone heads home. Oil Ocean going from day to dawn reminds me that this place is more than just an ecological slap to the face but a continuously working nightmare of a facility. And stages like Mirage Saloon and Press Garden at night are just so heavenly and serene.

Besides that, shouldn't have to tell you Sonic Mania is really good. Mighty and Ray are also nice to see and the different life/character-swapping mechanic of Encore mode keeps you on your toes.

Splatoon 2 - Octo Expansion (2018)

(10/10)

I regret that I kinda just rushed to the credits with this one, because 'beating' Octo Expansion is so much more of an experience than just taking the optimal path to the goal. It's hard to explain just how much this mode changed the fucking game for Splatoon singleplayers because of that fact alone, like that entire sphere of experience with this series could easily be divided into before and after Octo Expansion (B.O.E, A.O.E?). And for the world too, it really opened up what the characters and societies of the Splatoon world could be. And despite all the precedents it set which have been followed faithfully since, a lot of people see this as the peak of the series for pretty good reason.

Splatoon had always been a powerhouse of design, but when it was mostly utilitarian in serving the create a theme for the world you don't fully appreciate it. But Octo Expansion really got lost in the sauce of 80s aesthetics and surreality in a way that is both super dated and far ahead of its time when thinking forward to the liminal space trend. Like with Encore Mode, that energy was why I was revisiting this game, and I forgot just how strong of a theme it is.

Beyond just what it represents from that artistic and franchise perspective, the gameplay loop is fun as all get out, but a bit harder to appreciate in wake of Splatoon 3 copying it so hard. The mystery of the subway system adds a lot though, and as delightful as the spectacle of Return of the Mammalians is (and having a great story no one cares about cause they're too into the lore and not the actual sci-fi message), I think the introspective plots of the octo-related singleplayers is to die for. Once again I shouldn't have to tell you - Octo Expansion Good.

The Day the Earth Blew Up (2025)

(8/10)

This watch was earned by a certain Looney Tunes enthusiast and spokesperson I follow on Tumblr. In general it's very interesting to follow cartoon releases through the perspective of artists in the industry because you'll see something that seems utterly vapid but then get a whole epic from the people on the inside about the heart and soul poured into it and change your mind. And I'm happy I'm here, good to support a survivor of the streaming service purges of yesteryear.

Overall it was just a really fun and beautiful movie! Filled to the brim with Looney Tunes references and gags that should make any true nerd giggle and kick their feet. Ever single frame is a treat for the eyes of exaggerated, cartoony goodness, and it is just a very refreshing 2D animated film. But besides that, it's not incredibly exceptional in story or any particular technical achievements from what I can tell. And the sad thing is that it really shouldn't have to be to warrant seeing the light of day and having an audience.

It feels like a lot of the media landscape right now is split into "slop" and "prestige" without much room for something in the middle that is just silly, fun, and appealing, but obviously made with a lot of heart and respect. I think a lot of this is due to the streaming paradigm where it's not as easy to just stumble upon things in the way you would surfing channels or tuning into a favorite station at an odd hour. You have to remember that Looney Tunes and Animaniacs and a lot of those classic cartoons were inherently filler than gained such an audience because it would be incidentally beamed into their skulls at random intervals, and all their hype is retroactive, those shows were seen as fluff in their time. Everything now needs an instant hype cycle or to be really lowbrow in order to get bored clicks on it and that makes me sad. I think it's very hard for good but not groundbreaking films like The Day The Earth Blew Up these days. So do show it some love however you can.

Trolls 2: World Tour (2020) & Trolls 3: Band Together (2023)

(10/10), (9/10)

These are very fun movies, my absolute cream of the crop of corporate animated babyslop films. Or more specifcally, children's films as opposed to all ages or family - a very important distinction as I'll explain. Trolls 2 is the best of the trilogy to me, though I find the 3rd one to be a great time for one of the core reasons I like the entire series. Basically, they are filled to the brim with creativity and earnest love and energy. The artists and writers manage to take "pop music-stuffed super colorful toys movie" and find every possible thing to love about it to express.

Both of these films in particular use the library of pop music to their benefit, with 3 just being an open love letter to corny boybands and popstar drama, but 2 goes for artistic style points by using it to craft one of the best anti-fascist allegories I've seen in children's animation. Once again, not all-ages or family movies, children specifically. The kind of thing that is on in the background of a 5-year old's birthday party for a few shy kids and unsuspecting older animation nerds to zone in on. I think it's very important that art from a young age gives children these lessons in a way that's more than just 'be nice to each other' but does stuff like linking fictional diversity to real world distinctions, and even criticizing the fasc-y rhetoric inherent in liberal platitudes.

I came to appreciate this a lot in context of the 2021 My Little Pony movie with it's way more half-assed but standard anti-fascist message. I watched it with a friend who defended its barreness by pointing out it was for children first and others second, and I did take that to heart. But then I remembered the fucking banger that is Trolls 2, in all its musical, magical, choreographed excellence, and how it put its WHOLE pussy into a message of cultural diversity. Never let a story's age-rating be an excuse for laziness, you can call the Trolls movies annoying but watch like 5 minutes of any of them and tell me their fucking lazy. My babyslop films!

Kirby Star Allies (2018)

(7/10)

Kirby Star Allies means a lot to me. It was my first Kirby game and the Kirby game that got me into this series that now stands as my favorite series of art on the planet. But it wasn't because it was in itself so great that that happened, it was because it was almost soley made of references to other blatantly more interesting and badass Kirby games. Especially Kirby Super Star Ultra's Galacta Knight, who was fucking killed off in this game, yet 5 seconds of his theme and appearance was enough to attract me to my 2nd favorite character in fiction.

And that is not entirely a fault of the game, say the way Sonic Forces drowns in the shadow of Mania, what it thought it would bring in and reference as its little sister game. Kirby Star Allies was designed to be a celebration of the 2D formula of games first and foremost before it's graceful leap into the 3D Kirby and the Forgotten Land. In every single aspect towards that, in fanservice and narrative, it fulfills that purpose with dizzying beauty. Coming back all these years later I still reel at the layers of the story's internal and meta-textual meanings, and the obsessive attention to detail in making sure everyone, even the individual enemies of the game, get their dues.

But otherwise, the gameplay suffers from a terrible case of Mid, and compared to its predecessors - AND ESPECIALLY FORGOTTEN LAND - it lacks a lot of that consistent environmental mood, with a lot of level themes being super generic. Even moreso than Return to Dreamland, because at least all of its aesthetics served to ground a newly rendered Popstar and contrast it against the fiery mystique of Halcandra (my beloved). A tragically just bearable game, but it is still very worthy of the time of a diehard Kirby fan - it does love you. But if you want to jump into a 2D Kirby on Switch just get RTDL DX, I think they remade it because they realized how bad an ambassador Star Allies is by itself.