College Blog

A weekly blog on my experiences entering college! I'm currently living on campus attending a pretty nice Community College with a lot of more prestigious private ones in the area I have my eye on. Will try to update about every Monday (I write these down on Sunday).

Week 10

November 5, 2024

Makin' sure not to skip this week not really cause I have much to say, but just because It works as a stand-in for the big hooplah that's supposed to be the monthly update. I have kinda less than nothing to show for it and I wanted to say here that I think I'm gonna just say the site is on a hiatus for now! For my winter recess I get like a whole damn month off, so I'm hoping that whatever I've been itching to do I can get done then, and not really even really waste the time fretting about whether I'm keeping schedule here. I am still genuinely sad I've been sleeping on the Inspo Corners, I thought they would be a nice little thing but shit boy I'm already writing too many damn essays!!

As I sad, its been nothing much here but I am off this Tuesday (that I'm posting) on for Election Day. Just hoping that Harris wins so I'm not forced too book it across the border when I'm having such a nice time at this NY college :[ (and of course a million other devastating things that will happen if Trump gets a second term).

My history essay came out surprisingly well, I'm getting psyched about a research essay on the education system, and also getting ready to register for nest semester's classes (and spend more money yay...), but I'd rather talk about hobby stuff rn.

As I said earlier, I've been getting back into Sonic the Hedgehog thanks to Sonic x Shadow Generations, but last weekend I actually spent most of my time trying to play Sonic Heroes! It's just been on the bucket list since I played the first Adventure games and even went back to mess with the 2D classics, but on top of that I have inspiration to take from it for my OC story Neonverse (Still A Shitty Working Title). The series is planned to be a trilogy where the three goobers on the front page will end up teaming up by the final game, and I want to use Heroes (and maybe Chaotix) as bases for that because they were my fixations at the time the story is supposed to reflect. I've been finding the games vibe a very good inspiration too, it is blindingly cheery and bright after the growing melodramatic insanity of the first Adventure games (my beloved). Which also fits with the plot of my hypothetical games ^_^.

Is Sonic Heroes fun? Uhm. no. Now, it's easy to give it shit for what it is even trying to do, slowing Sonic down with other characters and emphasizing battling, but with a bit of time it all starts clicking really well and the level design is good! But uhm. I'm playing the PS2 version and christ alive is it glitchy, on top of me just having a shitty disc with benign bugs like the music cutting out. But goddamnit if that isn't one of the main saving graces of the game! It's kind of amazing just how busted it is, Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 are a mess but not in a way I feel significantly detracts from their quality if you can power through, this one is just really bad, like "why did you think this was shippable?" bad. Still gonna take cues from it either way lol.

I'm also playing it cause of my pookie-bear, Metal Sonic being in it. It's like his only important appearance in anything besides his debut fucking game, and they did amazing things with him. I kinda touch on it in Interest Hell. Crazy underrated character I tell you, I'm waiting for him to get his "Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)" treatment.

Next week I'll either be screeching in joy or despair about the outcome of the election, so till then.


Week 7, 8, 9

October 28, 2024

MAN ITS BEEN A MINUTE. As the weather's gotten colder and my classes have ramped up in coursework I've had less time to really sit and reflect and wrote about everything predictably. I will give a catch up on some of the last things I talked about though:

My Victory Through Air Power essay was turned in and I looove how it came out but at the same time it was a bit over the limit... I blame the fact that my second peer feedback workshop i had less people to work with when I specifically was asking about ways to cut back the essay. The teacher is very cool though and we get one more revision after we turn it in so I asked for specific feedback on that. We're moving onto the next essay which is practicing writing a prospectus so that we know how the hell to actually begin on writing a good research essay for the 4th assignment lol. The topic is the grading system, a very juicy topic enhanced by the teachers own Marxist tendencies giving us a lot of interesting readings on the subject. Super looking forwards to this even though it's more supposed to be a test run. Maybe my 4th essay will be the same topic if I find it intriguing enough (and also if I'm a bit lazy).

I finally got my damn Psychology essay in and it was so fucking embarrassing. I thought it had a soft due date but no I had week 8 and 9 and that was it to get it in. Like I said, was assigned at the beginning of the semester and you bet I didn't actually get around to it until the weekend right before the final cutoff. The quality suffered severely for it, more than my History essay by a mile, which is terrible given that *I am a Psychology Major*. I'm praying that it was still good enough to warrant an A given that the teacher doesn't have any other writings of mine to compare to... I love that class a lot but it's once a week night class so everything about it stays in the back of my mind till that one day. Next semester (which registration has opened up for by this Monday) I'll be taking two psych classes and hopefully they're popular enough to have normal in-person spots. I only took the night class to avoid the dreaded distance learning...

Sociology has been fun as ever, I've neglected to talk about it but it's a frickin' mess. The teacher has not gotten anymore assertive, but after half the class failed the first exam (which I got 100%+ points on like the socialist I am) they have kinda locked in. I was confident in the 2nd exam too but I pray for that class man. I don't WANT to be the only one who gets the material cause my wish for people to become socially conscious members of society overrides my teachers pet instincts lmao.

In History I got that essay back with a 100% despite the teacher pointing out multiple grammatical and factual errors? I'm assuming the bar is just low for the class and as I had prayed, my visible investment was appreciated. The next one is due this Wednesday on our Ancient India unit which has been hot and cold for me. I loved the last one reading about China's unification through the expressive annals of a 2nd century BCE work, and our short little book on the Mongols illuminated a huge part of Eastern History that's been way unfairly simplified and demonized for me. Indian history is super cool but our book is just a little hard to read. Information is distributed about in a clumsy fashion and the guy just zooms through things in a way that's hard to follow. It lacks explanatory appeal even if like always, Ancient History is a blast to learn about. Frickin' love gaining context on the diversity of human culture!!!

My next essay will try to be on how Hercules ended up in Buddhist mythology and imagery, something I had brought up hearing about to the teacher, whom looked at me in confusion. Which makes the topic sound more intriguing than it is, sometimes I state basic facts and the teacher stares at me like I'm insane. But I'm gonna try and tie it into the broader topic of foreign invasions of India and cultural exchange and all that, should be fun if I can find some good sources.

Ok now off of that nerd-school shit, what else I've been doing! The last two weeks have been very fun! On the 20th I went to go see my first Broadwar stageplay ever, it was Les Mis and I got to watch it from a shitty balcony seat in the back but and had a blast! The first thing for me was just how being in a room with real people singing and acting their heart out in front of you is very... affecting, I was getting teary-eyed in the first couple of minutes just from that. Beyond that I found the play most emotional when it was talking about its themes on revolution and morality and redemption... a looot less on the romance plot but it was kinda important.

None of the songs specifically stuck with me but I liked little musical moments like "look down" line and motif going from the slaves telling themselves not to cause trouble to a demand of the oppressed to be seen by their oppressors, and the motif in Lovely Ladies having a surprisingly chilling reprise in the song of the women mourning at the end. Valjean is a cool little guy and his relationship with Javert was super interesting - kinda wish it had more time to shine even if its a very fundamentally simple sort of dynamic of a man trying all he can to change and man who believes no such thing is possible. I also like how the shitty comic relief couple's returns each highlighted some cruelty of politics AS WELL AS OUR THENARDIER BEING FUCKING HILARIOUS! Like man it is so exhilerating to see someone doing all those silly numbers right in front of you, I'm so excited to go see some more plays now that I know where to look.

Also a side note is that I have an essay idea now about comparing acting for the stage with the animated acting and directing showcased in early 3D games like Final Fantasy 7. Watching that stuff from the back of the room with the actors as just tiny figures on a background set off some specific neurons...

Moving to this week I played a BUTT-LOAD of Sonic the Hedgehog given the release of Sonic x Shadow Generations. My opinions on the series and specifically Shadow's debut game in Sonic Adventure 2 you can read about on here actually. All-in-all, watching my stupid little brother struggle through it has me excited to get around to it myself because besides the awesome fucking story it looks mechanically engaging! Without saying spoilers, the story is a breath of fresh air, so so sooo unabashedly over the top and self-serious! But still there is a lingering sense of apprehension to it... it basically wants to be Shadow the Hedghehog (2005) 2, but there is still that sense of grandiosity in those older games that's missing. I love the Adventure games because of their charming characterization and melodrama, but also because they for no real reason had large then life stakes that involved a whole world! Shadow Generations is very personal and self-contained, as Generations' story suffers from in general. I don't just want Shadow running around and being cool and introspective next time, I want big stupid set-pieces and government conspiracies and shit!!!

On the topic of the main game, Sonic Generations has always been a fave despite me barely playing half of it, so I was attracted to that part of the package first and it was just as good as I remember plus some! On top of the Red Rings which are serviceable collectibles as objects to reward and guide through use of best paths, they added chao which hide in little nooks and crannies of the stage to encourage out-of-the-way exploration. This may sound dumb, but is very fun for a game like Gens where the environments are all beautifully crafted and an excuse to stop and smell the 3D-modeled roses doesn't hurt at all.

In an act of unparalleled charity, I left my Nintendo Switch with my brother so he could play the game (and Puyo Puyo Tetris which I incidentally got him hooked on) to his hearts content. I don't really have time to play on it during the week so it won't be missed, but still... maybe I coulda snuck in a few hours here and there if I still had it on me... What I do still have though are some Fire Emblem games I bought last week! I've wanted to get into the series for a while now due to my delusions of a Kirby fangame based on Galacta Knight and I've been having a very good time. By good I mean I've been getting my ass whooped in the two I got - Echoes and Fates Conquest - but a good time in the end. Very invested specifically in Conquest cause I thought it would just the vapid EVIL version of its story as opposed to Revelations with its obvious moral high-ground of siding with your birth-family defending themselves against the family that kidnapped and brainwashed you. But hey! Turns out that that family who kidnapped and brainwashed you are not just gothic cardboard cut-outs but a cast of silly guys trying to stop their mastermind father from ruining everything which is super engaging!

I have yet to give myself the beating of the permadeath mechanics for fallen units, but it hurts a lot nonetheless to see your little guys get struck down and crawl away from the battle, especially when they're mechanically vital... sometime I'll revisit Onion's-Kirby-Lore and do a fun write-up about the experience for my game concept. Honestly I kinda need a section on that site just for HEADCANON essays rather than just ones on the games themselves.

THAT WAS A LONG ONE, but necessarily so with that gap. At this rate the blogs may just become a monthly thing like the updates, especially as I run out of anything else to really say about the site. But I do like having this little journal.


Week 6

October 7, 2024

So did I do it? Did I finish those essays and avoid - as my English teacher puts it - Satan's Night Club? Mm, kinda.

I did finish my essay on the Mongols for History class, but I don't have a grade back yet. I... y'see I'm not sure it's my best work since I wasted time cramming in more sources than was at all asked for, but hooopefully the teacher appreciates that??? At the very least, despite it's unpolished nature it should meet the criteria for an A.

The essay in English class got overshadowed by a mini-essay the teacher threw at us a couple days ahead which I completely blanked on until late the proceeding night of its due date, hence entering Satan's Night Club. At least I wasn't chugging Redbull, we raw-dog those late nights like a real man (someone afraid of the effect of caffeine). I somehow farted out something of passable quality, but I didn't get as far with my main essay draft as I would have liked.

Which actually wasn't a big deal, I needed it for a peer group review so I wasn't expected to bring perfection. And all the essays we tossed around were very cool, one of my groupmates was writing about the use of horror in children's shows and another about a chilling photo of a human shadow in post-war Japan. Uhm. Those both sound very weird to compare, but funny enough my topic was between those two extremes in a way.

So I was feeling really good about it despite getting stuck on balancing discussing the merits of the film and the context of time. Or at least I was until today I spoke to the teacher about how many subjects I was starting to juggle and he bluntly told me not to do compare and contrast because that was reaching for the level of research paper. WHOOPS!

I still want to ask him hooow much I can get away with it cause part of the crux of my argument for Victory Through Air Power's merit is what it shares in common with its contemporaries but... ah well... I might have to start from scratch...

Otherwise... I have two goddamn tests tomorrow, both of which I've insufficiently studied for because I have been in the absolute weirdest mood lately. Like a good mood but I can't concentrate on jack shit to save my life. I was doing crazy good at focusing on my work but I may have burnt out that executive function bulb. Eeeehh... I'm holding on there. Still getting top marks on most of my tests cause even if I botch homework and practice I do get the material. I love da material... I love cooleg...


Week 4 & 5

September 30, 2024

We're back again and even later than before! It's a shame too cause last week would've been the milestone of the first quarter of the semester done, but I was waaay too busy. It was my little brother's birthday weekend, and I had to catch up with family, and then over the week catch-up with more family over the phone, and by then the blog had completely gotten past me. This weekend was way more chill, I still went home but came back on Saturday so I had Sunday to myself to clean and prep for the week and everything. Still didn't prewrite a blog, but I got the real stuff done.

Which is important, cause I kinda gotta lock in this week. I got 3.5 essays I gotta work on and/or finish this week to coincide with upcoming exams, so things will be a little stressful. But at the very least I think my essays will be fun:

For Ancient History, we just finished reading about the Qin and first millenia China as well as the Mongols, which was very interesting stuff! The later most so because of how fucking little I ever hear about the Mongol Empire and how massive an impact it had on the entire trajectory of Eurasia, so my essay will probably be on defending them and their accomplishments. Learning about how they connected the world and facilitated so much cultural exchange of arts and knowledge lowkey makes me emotional thinking about human diversity, so I wanna explore that.

In my Developmental Psych class, we've been assigned an open prompt essay since day 1, and of course it's been the most difficult thing to get started on. Though over last weekend I visited the Museum of Play near us (coolest place on the planet btw), and by complete chance got to sit in on a seminar about using DnD in therapy sessions! It was super fascinating and introduced a bunch of modes of psychotherapy I'd never fucking heard of before, so of course my first instinct was to try and use it as a topic. Buuut... I couldn't think of a good way to incorporate it with the theme of Development out of laziness, so for now I'm sticking with my original topic of how different COVID-19 school policies impacted children.

Finally, in Advanced Composition, we were also given an open prompt for doing an evaluative essay on any piece of media we wanted. I tossed around a million ideas in my head, but in the end I settled on the 1942 Disney (and United Artists) propaganda film, Victory Through Air Power. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM TO TALK ABOUT THIS ONE. It is so fucking interesting from a historical and artistic standpoint and I am chomping at the bit to gush about it. I thought it would be enough to fill a 5 page essay but I still might have to reel myself in.

I actually first watched VTAP as part of a series of personal essays I did on Disney's animated filmography, and I was very happy I didn't skip over those wartime and package films cause they really do deserve just as much word as the beloved classics - they're part of the history. I've actually been thinking about bringing those essays over to the site lately, but I think I wanna save them for after a few more "live-action" remakes come out so I can bash those abominations while I'm gushing over the originals.

I also really wanted to do a certain special someone for the Character Gallery update next week... but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. I don't have my good art tablet available to me cause I lost the damn pen, so I only have my crappy replacement one that is not fun to draw on, AND I have artblock on top of that. Not looking good, except I did order a new pen, just don't know when it's coming.

Anyhoo, for now I'm still in my lane, flourishin', moisturized and all that. As long as I don't procrastinate to hell and back on these essays I think I'll be solid. If I think they're hot shit I might put them up next update too.


Week 3

September 16, 2024

3 weeks of this shit and I'm still just trying to find my groove. Well, college side that is, I'm now kinda behind on site stuff as I originally wanted to have a new Inpso Corner for today, and also not to mention I'm technically doing the entire blog on Monday instead of doing a final of my Sunday draft. But honestly, IDK what possesses me to try and be so professional with a damn blog. It helps me make sure I get a good description of things out but eh what the hell.

Last week 4 out of my 5 classes were beginning or coming to one of our first major graded projects, and I'm happy to say I feel pretty confident about all of them. Everything is on schedule and of good quality, and I even managed to get everything important done before I went home over the weekend! Like I actually got ON TOP of homework and didn't have to do shit when I went home. Would it have been advantageous to do some of the stuff there... mmmaybe but hey, you gotta love an ACTUAL weekend.

Laundry was also something I got out of the way before going home this week, though at the expense of one of the washers. Yes the very first washer I used. It was a classic Starting-The-Wash-Without-Detergent kinda shtick and I, unused to front-loading washers and their bullshit, didn't know how to get it in. I tried to find a way to pause the cycle but I just ended up yanking on the door until I got my solution in the form of a flew pieces of plastic flying onto the floor. The residence lady didn't mention me having to pay any fines or anything, but having to move the quarter-washed clothes from one end of the laundry room to a drier on another was punishment enough methinks. Not to mention a girl coming in a few minutes later and using the detergent slot on the side of the washer in front of me. Y'know the slot on the side of the machine where you can put the detergent in after the cycle starts instead of busting the door open like my goofy ass did! Bless my fucking heart.

But it was about time I got acquainted with the amenities of the place, as after next week I'll probably be trying to stay here over the weekend. I had a kinda shit time at home cause of my family not giving me the personal space that I come home for. I love my roommate but I'm never really alone with her no matter how much space we give each other, but my family doesn't have that sort of stranger's courtesy so even thought they could, they don't always feel like giving me the space I would like. And I'd rather deal with the former right now..

I've also been finding places outside of my dorm to hang out on campus. There's no night light (or even an afternoon life) here, but it's a scenic place and I've been trying not to retreat to my room the second I'm done with classes. I find that being outside my living space helps me concentrate, cause I don't start thinking about the million other obligations I could try to get to, I'm just there with what I got so I do's it. That was always how I functioned with school - concentrating in the learning environment was a breeze but anywhere else was hell - so I'm happy to lean into that pattern.

From a Monday perspective the vibes are pretty alright. I'm finding my balance, familiarizing myself more with the place, etc. Living away from home always SOUNDED scarier than it was for a neet like me, but not I'm beginning to feel more comfortable out here more than anything.

This week's reccomendation is Defunctland's video on Splash Mountain and it's little known inspiration. I watched it with my mom and found it really fun, I enjoyed Perjurer's measured but biting remarks about the paternalism of the Uncle Remus Tales' legacy, and I very sadly cannot get Okefenoke out my fucking head.


Week 2

September 8, 2024

Week 2 is done already! Things are still going pretty smoothly for me so far, and I even managed to get a bit of a leg up on my homework before the weekend. Which I then kinda ruined by coming home and not doing what bit I had left (a very important bit), but er uh, oh well! I've been having the zoomies about a certain some-character, and reading the DSM to fixate on blorbo related Psychology instead of my actual damn Psychology homework. Which is going to be more important than ever now that I've actually switched to being a Psych major.

Yes, it took a week and a half of being a General Liberal Arts major but I'm finally done with that stuff and my course ahead looks pretty clear. In the middle of the week I also disregarded my immediate academic obligations to speculate about my future ones, and by snooping around the course selection, and major requirements I realized I WANTED to do Psychology (with a Sociology major maybe), and that I could at this point without sacrificing any of the extra peripheral ones I'm interested in. So at a point like that there was really no reason for me to sit in that glorified "undecided" track. I wanna do my two years at community college and then transfer to a very prestigious technology school around here :3c, which I talked about with an advisor but to really lock in I have to talk to someone from that other school who shows up like a few times a week, so that's something to look out for.

ONE more funny anecdote about my distractibility before I go - In the middle of the week I was going to download an assignment for my history class to type over in Word, when for some insane reason it downloaded as an HTML page? Like literally just an HTML page with header and inline CSS to make it look like a Word document? It kinda had me in hysterics, especially cause I assumed it was done to say "don't write on this, copy it over", but I accepted that challenge... Do instead of just straightforwardly completing my homework I wasted a few hours tinkering with the (frankly, disgustingly repetitive) HTML, and coded my answers in. I had to get that off my chest cause neither my classmates nor the teacher found that as funny as I did.

Also cause it made me realize... damn I already miss having coding projects so much. They're so grueling when you're in the thick of them, but when you're out of it you wanna jump back in. It's so rewarding to mess with... I have some fun ideas for this site but unfortunately I don't know about fitting them into my schedule anytime soon :<.

To the actual people in my college career, I'm warming up to that Sociology teacher as they themself seem to be getting a better feel for how to actually TEACH. Didn't stop me from writing in that they should be more assertive on an opinion sheet, nor did them awkwardly saying they were neurodivergent to someone within my earshot. Autism (or whatever they have) be damned though, if you're a real one you know how to force your interests down others throats, and that's what I want! I'm rooting for them as a fellow gay """neuro-spicy (their own words)""" humanities dorkwad!

Next week I'm looking forwards to my first essay in English where we were given one of those very open prompts about just writing deeply about anything from your experience. Through me a bit off, but now I think I'm gonna write about my experiences coming home on the weekends so far and connecting with my little brother. I talked about how we've been watching Sonic X, which is a nostalgic and surreal experience for me as someone who was really into the show when younger but only ever saw half of it through reruns. And this weekend because of a very special video essay, we were watching Wreck-It Ralph together and playing 'Spot The Sonic' as I did too when I was his age. His role is genuinely so minuscule but its like cocaine to a young Sonic nerd from back then seeing him in a movie.

I'm just having a lot of odd feelings seeing my younger self reflected in my little brother, and seemingly mostly because we're more apart now so we're more sentimental about the time we are together. I also have an anecdote to give about Stranger Things that I think would round out the idea of cycles of interests in media, and maybe I'll call the essay something like "Reflected In The Screen" - that sounds pretentious enough for an essay about my brother and I having the same Sonic hyperfixation, eh?

To be fun, I also wanna spice things up with a recommendation that I may or may not make a new staple of these blogs just to help myself sense where I was every week. Today's recommendation is: Randomalistic's Turbo/King Candy Analysis!

It is already as you say, canonical to my mind, as in it has been completely consuming it for a few weeks now. I finally forced my friends to watch it and the essayists AMAZING energy and enthusiasm sucked us all in. This is a video full of some Grade A Nuclear autism, and buddy, I'm dying of radiation poisoning! I am so obsessed with this character and movie now it's driving me crazy, and I have Random to thank! They're Turbo-tastic!


Week 1

September 1, 2024

Hey, Sunday seems like a good time to start a reflection on a week, it's kind of a magic day for me with his site. Really I wanted to start writing down my experiences fresh on Friday on my way home, but things were still a bit hectic. I spent the weekend watching Sonic X with my little brother, which I'd say was a very rewarding little distraction, if not for the fact it distracted me from unfinished homework reading which I would REALLY rather not get behind on so quickly!

But let's talk about that homework, shall we? I'm full time taking 5 courses: Advanced Composition, Global/'Non-Western' History, Sociology 101, Statsitics for Social Sciences, and Developmental Psychology. I am blessed to adore the subjects of all my classes, even Stat despite my disillusionment with math sometime in high school. Though I've preached being a Psychology Major, I'm taking General Liberal Arts just for that purpose of letting my love spread across the things I'm interested in, and I couldn't be happier with that decision so far.

My English teacher is a shining example of why I sought out starting above 101, and his energetic and communicative teaching style is already a hit with me. The teacher and students are definitely what's holding the Stats class up for me, as it's nice to be allowed to start side-tangents about analyzing data rather than just talking numbers all day. And though I've only really seen the psychology teacher once, I already really appreciate his dry sense of humor. It'll come in handy and probably speak to me as we go through this somewhat harrowing course across the human lifespan.

But there are some drags . . . My History teacher isn't BAD per se, but he isn't really giving much enthusiasm or interesting insight to the course so far. Which is on top of me thinking that the course would be an actual GLOBAL history and not just a grab bag of everyone outside of whatever "us" the academic world has constructed. My main interests have been West Asian history lately, and I was hoping for that to be covered in the course as well as that familiar in the European world, and what's new to me elsewhere. I feel like history is best understood when interconnected rather than when we create these artificial (and often racially motivated) dividers. But I digress.

My sociology teacher is a whole other beast though! You see. In middle school, I had a Spanish class that I took solely to get away from the tyrannical French teacher I had the year prior. But though easier, I found that Spanish class just as difficult to sit through. That teacher was so lenient and incapable of corralling the class of moody teens that she'd often just give up and stand quietly to the side WAITING for the students to check themselves, which would almost never come of course. It was pitiful then when I wasn't paying for the teacher's time, but seeing that sort of approach when I AM is just aggravating. IN THEIR DEFENSE, it hasn't LITERALLY gotten that bad, but if wasting 15 minutes at the start of day 2 trying to get students to suggest classroom rules is any indicator, it could become so at any point.

Despite my harshness and consideration of switching teachers, I'm somewhat fond of the teacher for their interest in the world of lefitst youtubers which is bound to be grounds for interesting conversation. Though from the looks of it, only coming from me. And a lot will come form me because just a few paragraphs into my overpriced sociology textbook, I realized that it may've just been the discipline I was truly looking for when I had my eyes on psychology!

I won't get too ahead of myself, but both those disciplines hold key perspectives on understanding and analyzing human nature, just from different ideological vantage points. And when I went to my dear sociology teacher about this realization of mine and their advice on how to bridge these two interests, they . . . kinda just looked at me funny and admitted they don't care much for psychology. This after I tried to strike a conversation with my psychology teacher about the transition between the impact of personal trauma vs normalized social violence on those with antisocial traits, and he also looked at me funny.

(Not to mention, before he tried to wiggle his fingers and warn me about the scary world of sociopathy, which I should have rolled my eyes at. It's become VERY amusing to me to realize this man has missed that whole era a few years ago where being obsessed with "True Crime" and case studies of serial killers was one of the biggest Girl Hobbies out there.)

But back to my search for professorial mentorship, I even tried to strike up a convo with my cool af english teacher on the subject because he mentioned he taught other humanities, but alas, not psychology or sociology. (Though he does teach a course on analyzing myths from around the world which I'm so excited to take next semester.) So for now I walk alone on my journey to find my true path in life, but hopefully if I annoy my teachers enough (show extra-ordinary engagement and excitement towards the material), they'll have me shipped off to somewhere where someone CAN give me the right advice. Perhaps even on a last-dollar scholarship if God wills it . . .

Genuinely, if that confusion from my teachers has given me anything, it's confidence that my new questions are pointing me towards a far more interesting future to base my collegic career upon. Psychology is a field I feel deep personal stake in, but sociology aligns more with my ideologies on how the social sciences should approach the world. So for my first week of college, my goal is to become The World's First Ethical Psychologist! (As second-hand horror stories nor personal experiences have led me to believe one yet exists - I'd love to change my mind.)

Besides academics, social life has been very smooth for me too. My roomate is very sweet and we're vibing well enough together. Outside our room we share a suite with 3 other girls, two of which seem like they're pretty party-oriented, but they're at least super chill. The 3rd girl lives in her own single room and is actually the Residential Assistant for our section of the building, which will come to be a blessing and a curse I presume. We also all happen to be gay except for one of the other duo lol.

Of clubs, I only KINDA got around to one, which I thought was a casual video game club but actually happened to be an open meeting for the atheletics Esports team of the school. The only game I could even feign competitive skill in is Splatoon, but it isn't part of the official leagues so there's no team for it. At least I gained a team to follow this year! The ACTUAL casual gaming club hasn't decided on their schedule yet, and there's a tabletop club that I would like to talk to about personal D&D stuff, but they literally meet for the duration of one of my classes, so I'm not sure what to do with them.

All-in-all, this has been a fantastic first week, and I'm super looking forwards to returning to school despite the comfort of my home and family. I'm just uh . . . nt looking forwards to how busy my Monday holiday will be with how Not Finished some of my lengthy assigned reading is. I'm getting graded on my abiliyt to hyperfixate basically, and I just pray they wheel of interest will keep landing where I need it to.