College Blog
A weekly blog on my experiences entering college! I'm currently living on campus attending a pretty nice Community College with a lot of more prestigious private ones in the area I have my eye on. Will try to update about every Monday.
Week 16
Dec 15, 2024
This one's gonna be early because obviously the second things start on Monday I gotta lock tf in. The course of last week was mostly just more studying and trying to map out my finals time. By about half way through the week I realized I was actually... kinda good. Even now I have 3 assessments left (my Soc Exam was Thursday, and Comp only needed me to bring in an ungraded draft) and everything else except the mandatory last minute studying is pretty close to locked down. I have to write an essay for History class which I is a bit of a stressor, but I have a full first draft and I'm hoping I can knock it out like I did the last one before class. The Unit was also all over the place which scares me but once again, gotta have faith in the last minute studying.
I did actually return to my Soc class this week, I didn't feel like losing out on free extra credits and like duh I'm not letting some assholes stop me from acing my final exam. I'm very happy that class is over, it was fun for a time but on reflection it was just such uneeded stress and for barely anything in terms of learning. Most of what was helpful came straight from the book and not the teacher or class.
The English essay is also breathing down my neck, the teacher has both cursed and blessed us with a post-christmas due date which I will indeed be taking advantage of because the scope of the essay - especially with my other classes - weighs heavily on me. On Friday my "draft" was just a random freewrite that actually came out really good but also like it had 15 footnotes and was illegibly scribbled in a notebook so I didn't get great feedback. I really wanna get some good feedback from this last class coming up, but also I'm lazy and busy and coming down with a FUCKING cold!
THAT'S RIGHT FUCKERS! God has struck me with plague on the eve of my finals marathon! I'm gonna chug some nyquil and go to bed early and pray I get the "ah that killed it" effect and not the "now you've officially declared war on the cold!" effect.
Besides that, it is actually kinda hard to imagine I'm gonna be out of here in a few days. I can't do the whole "boohoo I'll miss everyone" cause literally I'll be back in a few weeks to a month with some of these people still in my contacts, but zamn. It's the first end of the semester for me.
Week 15
Dec 9, 2024
Last week was a good one. I spent a lot of extra time at the library trying to just give myself the space to lock in and I think it was to great effect. On top of that I stayed in my dorms for the whole weekend which was moderately productive save the shitty weather sending me into a coma on Sunday. Also was kinda lonely, but not exactly because I wanted to be around my WHOLE family but because I wanted to go out and get free food with em lol.
I also did just give the fuck up on my stupid Sociology classes. It was stressing me the fuck out thinking of attending them Tuesday so I just said fuck it and focused on studying instead. The teacher understood thankfully enough and I don't think the lack of participation will hurt me. I'm probably gonna attend this week though cause it'll just be the review and the final exam and no talking. Some of the students are gonna try and be buddy-buddy with me again and whatever, but I will just be happy to never suffer class discussions with them again.
Most of my energy over the weekend went straight into my english essay, with me getting a whole lot of research in Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I finally moved from my books to speed-reading articles which is sooo much easier and as good as the books I grabbed are I do not know how tf I was gonna get anything done just reading them. This week should be me writing my first draft and I feel like with a bit more research trails followed I'll definitely be on track!
There's not much else to add besides that - the reason why I so often skip over weeks. But still like I said last time, I wanna get this stuff out to clear my mind and recognize how things are going during the end. Technically theres like, 1.5 weeks left, as I have some classes the week of the 16th, and after that will be gettin' back home. I'm lowkey looking forwards to those couple of days of no classes while still being allowed to live in the dorm... the definition of peace for me... I already said it but I'm not looking forwards to returning to the 3-generation jamboree in my little 1-bath apartment...
Week 14
Dec 2, 2024
Ah yes, now onto the holiday week, I did almost forget. So over that nice weekend when I was seeing Othello with my roommate I talked to her a bit about how I've been curbing my media intake since entering college to very good effect. There's a lot of things contributing to my healthier mood (as I'll get into in a second) but deleting my socials is definitely one of them. And combined with an interesting video I watched by the YT channel Reject Convenience, I started entertaining the thought od downgrading my phone, or may having a second "feature phone" for when I want to make sure I'm not tempted to stare at it. Xwitter was scrubbed from my phone but I still struggle with the Tumblr app, and though I use Discord mostly for talking to friends, I think it would be good to get in the habit of not constantly expecting their attention all the time.
So I did some preliminary research into the world of feature phones for funsies and I gotta admit... as much as I do want this to be a practice in me giving myself some room from screens and social media... these phones are so cute X3c...
I don't want this to become a collector's thing, but it will more than likely become a collector's thing the second I get my hands on one of these little gadgets. Hell -- maybe I'll add them to the Console Shrine idea I have. IDK I just really love older simpler tech, there's just such a charm to them, they're like lil' animals to me. I don't even want to downgrade cause I hold any malice towards my current phone like some of the influencers talking about this trend do, I just think it would be nice to use something simpler when I want to make sure I keep my attention focused on life ahead of me.
But hey! Something I realized over the weekend is that that is NOT all the time, ha ha. Being home with my family for the holidays everyone was smiling at me talking about how I seem better - literally look physically healthier - and all that good stuff. And as I said before, I just feel so much better all around since starting college. I was such a shut-in for the past couple years by comparison, and while I dreaded returning to the school experience, it was sheer, mind-numbing boredom that made it so appealing. And that part of my brain was completely right, I don't even have the anxiety or seasonal depression that I so associated with school.
But... a few hours into the family gathering and I... felt Bad all over again... At first I wasn't even really sure why, I just think the vibe with my family who lives here is kinda bleh. They all live in big houses in this cul-de-sac literally in the middle of a golf course, some relatives with children used to be on the block too but now its just a few older relatives. There's just... that lack of family chaos and hum-buzz that I associate with a good family gathering, and I think it made me kinda sad is all. I also just really hate the suburbs lmao.
Then we went back to see them again cause there was still food, but really nothing else to talk about or do? Besides myself and my little brother no one in the room was under 50 and it was just boring af. I did try to join conversations, the usual old people whining about how bad all the current tech is, and HEY! Since I'd just recently taken a dive into this world of technologically conscious and critical trends I brought some up. To neutral effect. Then as we were talking about something related to the state of the world and all I started talking about the essay I was writing in ELA, but I started prattling a bit much I'll admit. I wasn't trying to hog the convo or anything, but I guess I was being too much cause then everyone except my mom just left the table and never came back to restart the conversation. Which was insane to me, last time I checked walking away while someone was talking was rude, but I guess I was ruder by just talking about my life. With, y'know, people who constantly talk about how I don't talk to them enough.
Le Sigh... it just reiterated to me why I'm enjoying college so much. It's just expressive. It's the shit I live for, the stuff I care really really hard about and I'm encouraged to just yap and think about it all day! I was so happy when I got back on Sunday, just still kinda drained from the crappy Thanksgiving. For Christmas I'll be spending time with the other side of my family I used to when I was a kid, the kinda family who blasts music and invites over randos. They send the army of kids down to the basement to play and yell at each other, and someones dog never stops yapping. Loud and proud kinda family get together! I'm looking forwards to that, AND FINALLY HAVING TIME FOR THIS SITE AGAIN LIKE DAMN!!!
It came back into my mind during last week, so I did actually get around to a couple of things. Including the long-awaited (just by me) Inspiration Corner for Softmio's piece! I don't think they actually check out my site, but I ask the artists permission before even moving forwards on the things, and part of me was embarrassed that I got the OK so long ago - like months ago - but never delivered till now. Real ones will remember when the blog was supposed to be "bi-weekly".
I realized too that though I wanted to be the January New Year's update to be the big one, that would happen like just a single week into my break, so it would be better to postpone till February after I've cooked over the whole break and then some. As I said, big plans, but I'm also gonna pace myself and wait for over the summer to really try and do the ambitious shit. Hopefully focusing on the site too will keep the creeping lethargy of home away.
Anyways, that's all for the holiday week. I'll probably either have a new blog every Monday so I can keep track of the end-of-semester madness and keep the site in mind, or you won't hear from me again till schools out. We'll see!
Week 11, 12, 13
Dec 1, 2024
Another big skip but can you really blame me? Everything's been a blur since the election but we're not really going to talk about that except for what it relates to my classwork. I kinda just woke up the day after and gave le sigh and decided this was my calling to become an educator of some kind in the future and thus more invested in my essay on the history of public educationr reform. Which was actually quite a disaster the last couple of weeks as I'll explain.
See with most of my essays I've kinda just gotten a topic and immediately went to the library to find what snippets about it I could and then wrote based on those chunks, but I tried to do that with the infinitely expansive topic of US education reform and immediately got swamped. I picked up like 5 really big books I never read cause they intimidated me, which meant I was doing NO research cause I figured I was beyond wikipedia by now, and basically by the end of that week I was asking the teacher for an extension. Which worked out very well in the end, that weekend between week 12 and 13 got me way more oriented and now I have a good research direction and I'm usin' a breadth of resources and everything. AND because, the idea was for the 3rd essay topic to be that given by the teacher (grades which I turned into reform history) while the 4th was our own, because I'm carrying one topic into the next I have a headstart! So whoopdie-do I hope I don't bungle that again cause it will be a beast of an essay but one with a lot of potential.
Before that though I had a fun time signing up for next semester's classes and talking to my new academic advisor from the psychology department. I told him there was this one tech school I was still holding out for cause they have a cool animation program (which I wouldn't even be in, I just wanted to be near it) but I said I was having doubts and he said that was for good reason. So now I got myself oriented towards a four-year state school which will save me lots of money and be better for my field of interest overall. Very exciting stuff to think about, especially cause from there I can more clearly see a pathway into maybe getting a PhD if I can make it into a program with like... 4 open slots a year? I've never really been a super ambitious achiever in school, just staying in my lane getting good grades in honors but not much else cause I never ran around doing extra-curriculars, so I'm not really sure of my chances... but maybe college will give me more opportunities to become all competitive and stuff. The advisor basically said from talking to me and hearing how passionate (read: adhd) I am about the field I have a good chance.
What else, what else... my teachers were very nice to me the other week when I got headshot by some really bad personal news and needed to take a day off which made me feel very nice. I got the news on Tuesday, and then hilariously enough, two Tuesdays later (last week), I had the shittiest fucking class of the semester. It was in Sociology where I suffer the burned of being more comprehensive of the material than any other student and more outspoken than the teacher so I am constantly having to defend the learning to everyone. We were talking about eminent domain and property rights and shit, and when we got to tenant I said landlords who literally do not work but live off their tenants are parasites and everyone got uppity about it. I almost was doubting if what I said was too mean for a second, but then everyone else in the class bashing tenants made me realize how right I was. I've personally had some really bad experiences in the past as a tenant and it broke my heart thinking of how fucking inconsiderate my classmates had to be to rail on people desperate to have one of their basic fucking human needs met in shelter. I'm really not looking forwards to that class anymore cause I just lost all respect for everyone in there like jesus...
Besides that, I've really been enjoying the book we're on now in my history class, talking about Pre-Columbian America. The book is from the early 2000s yet is still teaching me so much stuff they never told me in high school only a few years ago. Its so refreshing and interesting learning about all the awesome shit Native Americans were doing on this continent before Europeans came over -- how an entire chunk of humanity was growing concurrently to the cultures of Afro-Eurasia. Also makes their devastation following hit hard as balls, in ways it never did before when - as the class makes fun of - people used to describe the indigenous populations as just "a couple tribes running around". Like, holy shit, no! There was so much going on! And most fucked up of all was that the largest death toll was not even purposeful, just the second Europeans stepped foot in this hemisphere ecological disaster followed in the form of disease. It's just really complex and fascinating and I love the hell out of this unit so far.
Ah, and then onto something not school related, om the 24th I went to go see a play with my roomate ^_^! We don't actually talk all that much but we've been vibing and it was nice to break some ice. We went to go see a small local production of Othello which was a blast, the frickin actor for Iago only picked up the role a month before cause of an emergency and he did amazing. It was my roomates favorite play but I didn't have the heart to tell her its erm... not my favorite Shakespeare one by quite some bit cause of some complexes I have about how it handles its anti-racism but thats for like, a whole other essay or some shit. It doesn't really matter cause we had a good time, wandered around the city blocks a bit too on our way there and back.
Now technically it is going on the 15th week despite me only covering 11 - 13, but I'll save 14 for tomorrow since I actually usually post these on Monday. Just since I actually had some monthly update stuff I figures one of these should come with. Plus, it means I get to break things up a bit more - like a part 1 and part 2. Next time I'll be talking about some of my distractions during the few days of week 14 and my personal revelations during the holidays.
Week 10
November 5, 2024
Makin' sure not to skip this week not really cause I have much to say, but just because It works as a stand-in for the big hooplah that's supposed to be the monthly update. I have kinda less than nothing to show for it and I wanted to say here that I think I'm gonna just say the site is on a hiatus for now! For my winter recess I get like a whole damn month off, so I'm hoping that whatever I've been itching to do I can get done then, and not really even really waste the time fretting about whether I'm keeping schedule here. I am still genuinely sad I've been sleeping on the Inspo Corners, I thought they would be a nice little thing but shit boy I'm already writing too many damn essays!!
As I sad, its been nothing much here but I am off this Tuesday (that I'm posting) on for Election Day. Just hoping that Harris wins so I'm not forced too book it across the border when I'm having such a nice time at this NY college :[ (and of course a million other devastating things that will happen if Trump gets a second term).
My history essay came out surprisingly well, I'm getting psyched about a research essay on the education system, and also getting ready to register for nest semester's classes (and spend more money yay...), but I'd rather talk about hobby stuff rn.
As I said earlier, I've been getting back into Sonic the Hedgehog thanks to Sonic x Shadow Generations, but last weekend I actually spent most of my time trying to play Sonic Heroes! It's just been on the bucket list since I played the first Adventure games and even went back to mess with the 2D classics, but on top of that I have inspiration to take from it for my OC story Neonverse (Still A Shitty Working Title). The series is planned to be a trilogy where the three goobers on the front page will end up teaming up by the final game, and I want to use Heroes (and maybe Chaotix) as bases for that because they were my fixations at the time the story is supposed to reflect. I've been finding the games vibe a very good inspiration too, it is blindingly cheery and bright after the growing melodramatic insanity of the first Adventure games (my beloved). Which also fits with the plot of my hypothetical games ^_^.
Is Sonic Heroes fun? Uhm. no. Now, it's easy to give it shit for what it is even trying to do, slowing Sonic down with other characters and emphasizing battling, but with a bit of time it all starts clicking really well and the level design is good! But uhm. I'm playing the PS2 version and christ alive is it glitchy, on top of me just having a shitty disc with benign bugs like the music cutting out. But goddamnit if that isn't one of the main saving graces of the game! It's kind of amazing just how busted it is, Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 are a mess but not in a way I feel significantly detracts from their quality if you can power through, this one is just really bad, like "why did you think this was shippable?" bad. Still gonna take cues from it either way lol.
I'm also playing it cause of my pookie-bear, Metal Sonic being in it. It's like his only important appearance in anything besides his debut fucking game, and they did amazing things with him. I kinda touch on it in Interest Hell. Crazy underrated character I tell you, I'm waiting for him to get his "Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)" treatment.
Next week I'll either be screeching in joy or despair about the outcome of the election, so till then.
Week 7, 8, 9
October 28, 2024
MAN ITS BEEN A MINUTE. As the weather's gotten colder and my classes have ramped up in coursework I've had less time to really sit and reflect and wrote about everything predictably. I will give a catch up on some of the last things I talked about though:
My Victory Through Air Power essay was turned in and I looove how it came out but at the same time it was a bit over the limit... I blame the fact that my second peer feedback workshop i had less people to work with when I specifically was asking about ways to cut back the essay. The teacher is very cool though and we get one more revision after we turn it in so I asked for specific feedback on that. We're moving onto the next essay which is practicing writing a prospectus so that we know how the hell to actually begin on writing a good research essay for the 4th assignment lol. The topic is the grading system, a very juicy topic enhanced by the teachers own Marxist tendencies giving us a lot of interesting readings on the subject. Super looking forwards to this even though it's more supposed to be a test run. Maybe my 4th essay will be the same topic if I find it intriguing enough (and also if I'm a bit lazy).
I finally got my damn Psychology essay in and it was so fucking embarrassing. I thought it had a soft due date but no I had week 8 and 9 and that was it to get it in. Like I said, was assigned at the beginning of the semester and you bet I didn't actually get around to it until the weekend right before the final cutoff. The quality suffered severely for it, more than my History essay by a mile, which is terrible given that *I am a Psychology Major*. I'm praying that it was still good enough to warrant an A given that the teacher doesn't have any other writings of mine to compare to... I love that class a lot but it's once a week night class so everything about it stays in the back of my mind till that one day. Next semester (which registration has opened up for by this Monday) I'll be taking two psych classes and hopefully they're popular enough to have normal in-person spots. I only took the night class to avoid the dreaded distance learning...
Sociology has been fun as ever, I've neglected to talk about it but it's a frickin' mess. The teacher has not gotten anymore assertive, but after half the class failed the first exam (which I got 100%+ points on like the socialist I am) they have kinda locked in. I was confident in the 2nd exam too but I pray for that class man. I don't WANT to be the only one who gets the material cause my wish for people to become socially conscious members of society overrides my teachers pet instincts lmao.
In History I got that essay back with a 100% despite the teacher pointing out multiple grammatical and factual errors? I'm assuming the bar is just low for the class and as I had prayed, my visible investment was appreciated. The next one is due this Wednesday on our Ancient India unit which has been hot and cold for me. I loved the last one reading about China's unification through the expressive annals of a 2nd century BCE work, and our short little book on the Mongols illuminated a huge part of Eastern History that's been way unfairly simplified and demonized for me. Indian history is super cool but our book is just a little hard to read. Information is distributed about in a clumsy fashion and the guy just zooms through things in a way that's hard to follow. It lacks explanatory appeal even if like always, Ancient History is a blast to learn about. Frickin' love gaining context on the diversity of human culture!!!
My next essay will try to be on how Hercules ended up in Buddhist mythology and imagery, something I had brought up hearing about to the teacher, whom looked at me in confusion. Which makes the topic sound more intriguing than it is, sometimes I state basic facts and the teacher stares at me like I'm insane. But I'm gonna try and tie it into the broader topic of foreign invasions of India and cultural exchange and all that, should be fun if I can find some good sources.
Ok now off of that nerd-school shit, what else I've been doing! The last two weeks have been very fun! On the 20th I went to go see my first Broadwar stageplay ever, it was Les Mis and I got to watch it from a shitty balcony seat in the back but and had a blast! The first thing for me was just how being in a room with real people singing and acting their heart out in front of you is very... affecting, I was getting teary-eyed in the first couple of minutes just from that. Beyond that I found the play most emotional when it was talking about its themes on revolution and morality and redemption... a looot less on the romance plot but it was kinda important.
None of the songs specifically stuck with me but I liked little musical moments like "look down" line and motif going from the slaves telling themselves not to cause trouble to a demand of the oppressed to be seen by their oppressors, and the motif in Lovely Ladies having a surprisingly chilling reprise in the song of the women mourning at the end. Valjean is a cool little guy and his relationship with Javert was super interesting - kinda wish it had more time to shine even if its a very fundamentally simple sort of dynamic of a man trying all he can to change and man who believes no such thing is possible. I also like how the shitty comic relief couple's returns each highlighted some cruelty of politics AS WELL AS OUR THENARDIER BEING FUCKING HILARIOUS! Like man it is so exhilerating to see someone doing all those silly numbers right in front of you, I'm so excited to go see some more plays now that I know where to look.
Also a side note is that I have an essay idea now about comparing acting for the stage with the animated acting and directing showcased in early 3D games like Final Fantasy 7. Watching that stuff from the back of the room with the actors as just tiny figures on a background set off some specific neurons...
Moving to this week I played a BUTT-LOAD of Sonic the Hedgehog given the release of Sonic x Shadow Generations. My opinions on the series and specifically Shadow's debut game in Sonic Adventure 2 you can read about on here actually. All-in-all, watching my stupid little brother struggle through it has me excited to get around to it myself because besides the awesome fucking story it looks mechanically engaging! Without saying spoilers, the story is a breath of fresh air, so so sooo unabashedly over the top and self-serious! But still there is a lingering sense of apprehension to it... it basically wants to be Shadow the Hedghehog (2005) 2, but there is still that sense of grandiosity in those older games that's missing. I love the Adventure games because of their charming characterization and melodrama, but also because they for no real reason had large then life stakes that involved a whole world! Shadow Generations is very personal and self-contained, as Generations' story suffers from in general. I don't just want Shadow running around and being cool and introspective next time, I want big stupid set-pieces and government conspiracies and shit!!!
On the topic of the main game, Sonic Generations has always been a fave despite me barely playing half of it, so I was attracted to that part of the package first and it was just as good as I remember plus some! On top of the Red Rings which are serviceable collectibles as objects to reward and guide through use of best paths, they added chao which hide in little nooks and crannies of the stage to encourage out-of-the-way exploration. This may sound dumb, but is very fun for a game like Gens where the environments are all beautifully crafted and an excuse to stop and smell the 3D-modeled roses doesn't hurt at all.
In an act of unparalleled charity, I left my Nintendo Switch with my brother so he could play the game (and Puyo Puyo Tetris which I incidentally got him hooked on) to his hearts content. I don't really have time to play on it during the week so it won't be missed, but still... maybe I coulda snuck in a few hours here and there if I still had it on me... What I do still have though are some Fire Emblem games I bought last week! I've wanted to get into the series for a while now due to my delusions of a Kirby fangame based on Galacta Knight and I've been having a very good time. By good I mean I've been getting my ass whooped in the two I got - Echoes and Fates Conquest - but a good time in the end. Very invested specifically in Conquest cause I thought it would just the vapid EVIL version of its story as opposed to Revelations with its obvious moral high-ground of siding with your birth-family defending themselves against the family that kidnapped and brainwashed you. But hey! Turns out that that family who kidnapped and brainwashed you are not just gothic cardboard cut-outs but a cast of silly guys trying to stop their mastermind father from ruining everything which is super engaging!
I have yet to give myself the beating of the permadeath mechanics for fallen units, but it hurts a lot nonetheless to see your little guys get struck down and crawl away from the battle, especially when they're mechanically vital... sometime I'll revisit Onion's-Kirby-Lore and do a fun write-up about the experience for my game concept. Honestly I kinda need a section on that site just for HEADCANON essays rather than just ones on the games themselves.
THAT WAS A LONG ONE, but necessarily so with that gap. At this rate the blogs may just become a monthly thing like the updates, especially as I run out of anything else to really say about the site. But I do like having this little journal.
Week 6
October 7, 2024
So did I do it? Did I finish those essays and avoid - as my English teacher puts it - Satan's Night Club? Mm, kinda.
I did finish my essay on the Mongols for History class, but I don't have a grade back yet. I... y'see I'm not sure it's my best work since I wasted time cramming in more sources than was at all asked for, but hooopefully the teacher appreciates that??? At the very least, despite it's unpolished nature it should meet the criteria for an A.
The essay in English class got overshadowed by a mini-essay the teacher threw at us a couple days ahead which I completely blanked on until late the proceeding night of its due date, hence entering Satan's Night Club. At least I wasn't chugging Redbull, we raw-dog those late nights like a real man (someone afraid of the effect of caffeine). I somehow farted out something of passable quality, but I didn't get as far with my main essay draft as I would have liked.
Which actually wasn't a big deal, I needed it for a peer group review so I wasn't expected to bring perfection. And all the essays we tossed around were very cool, one of my groupmates was writing about the use of horror in children's shows and another about a chilling photo of a human shadow in post-war Japan. Uhm. Those both sound very weird to compare, but funny enough my topic was between those two extremes in a way.
So I was feeling really good about it despite getting stuck on balancing discussing the merits of the film and the context of time. Or at least I was until today I spoke to the teacher about how many subjects I was starting to juggle and he bluntly told me not to do compare and contrast because that was reaching for the level of research paper. WHOOPS!
I still want to ask him hooow much I can get away with it cause part of the crux of my argument for Victory Through Air Power's merit is what it shares in common with its contemporaries but... ah well... I might have to start from scratch...
Otherwise... I have two goddamn tests tomorrow, both of which I've insufficiently studied for because I have been in the absolute weirdest mood lately. Like a good mood but I can't concentrate on jack shit to save my life. I was doing crazy good at focusing on my work but I may have burnt out that executive function bulb. Eeeehh... I'm holding on there. Still getting top marks on most of my tests cause even if I botch homework and practice I do get the material. I love da material... I love cooleg...
Week 4 & 5
September 30, 2024
We're back again and even later than before! It's a shame too cause last week would've been the milestone of the first quarter of the semester done, but I was waaay too busy. It was my little brother's birthday weekend, and I had to catch up with family, and then over the week catch-up with more family over the phone, and by then the blog had completely gotten past me. This weekend was way more chill, I still went home but came back on Saturday so I had Sunday to myself to clean and prep for the week and everything. Still didn't prewrite a blog, but I got the real stuff done.
Which is important, cause I kinda gotta lock in this week. I got 3.5 essays I gotta work on and/or finish this week to coincide with upcoming exams, so things will be a little stressful. But at the very least I think my essays will be fun:
For Ancient History, we just finished reading about the Qin and first millenia China as well as the Mongols, which was very interesting stuff! The later most so because of how fucking little I ever hear about the Mongol Empire and how massive an impact it had on the entire trajectory of Eurasia, so my essay will probably be on defending them and their accomplishments. Learning about how they connected the world and facilitated so much cultural exchange of arts and knowledge lowkey makes me emotional thinking about human diversity, so I wanna explore that.
In my Developmental Psych class, we've been assigned an open prompt essay since day 1, and of course it's been the most difficult thing to get started on. Though over last weekend I visited the Museum of Play near us (coolest place on the planet btw), and by complete chance got to sit in on a seminar about using DnD in therapy sessions! It was super fascinating and introduced a bunch of modes of psychotherapy I'd never fucking heard of before, so of course my first instinct was to try and use it as a topic. Buuut... I couldn't think of a good way to incorporate it with the theme of Development out of laziness, so for now I'm sticking with my original topic of how different COVID-19 school policies impacted children.
Finally, in Advanced Composition, we were also given an open prompt for doing an evaluative essay on any piece of media we wanted. I tossed around a million ideas in my head, but in the end I settled on the 1942 Disney (and United Artists) propaganda film, Victory Through Air Power. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM TO TALK ABOUT THIS ONE. It is so fucking interesting from a historical and artistic standpoint and I am chomping at the bit to gush about it. I thought it would be enough to fill a 5 page essay but I still might have to reel myself in.
I actually first watched VTAP as part of a series of personal essays I did on Disney's animated filmography, and I was very happy I didn't skip over those wartime and package films cause they really do deserve just as much word as the beloved classics - they're part of the history. I've actually been thinking about bringing those essays over to the site lately, but I think I wanna save them for after a few more "live-action" remakes come out so I can bash those abominations while I'm gushing over the originals.
I also really wanted to do a certain special someone for the Character Gallery update next week... but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. I don't have my good art tablet available to me cause I lost the damn pen, so I only have my crappy replacement one that is not fun to draw on, AND I have artblock on top of that. Not looking good, except I did order a new pen, just don't know when it's coming.
Anyhoo, for now I'm still in my lane, flourishin', moisturized and all that. As long as I don't procrastinate to hell and back on these essays I think I'll be solid. If I think they're hot shit I might put them up next update too.
Week 3
September 16, 2024
3 weeks of this shit and I'm still just trying to find my groove. Well, college side that is, I'm now kinda behind on site stuff as I originally wanted to have a new Inpso Corner for today, and also not to mention I'm technically doing the entire blog on Monday instead of doing a final of my Sunday draft. But honestly, IDK what possesses me to try and be so professional with a damn blog. It helps me make sure I get a good description of things out but eh what the hell.
Last week 4 out of my 5 classes were beginning or coming to one of our first major graded projects, and I'm happy to say I feel pretty confident about all of them. Everything is on schedule and of good quality, and I even managed to get everything important done before I went home over the weekend! Like I actually got ON TOP of homework and didn't have to do shit when I went home. Would it have been advantageous to do some of the stuff there... mmmaybe but hey, you gotta love an ACTUAL weekend.
Laundry was also something I got out of the way before going home this week, though at the expense of one of the washers. Yes the very first washer I used. It was a classic Starting-The-Wash-Without-Detergent kinda shtick and I, unused to front-loading washers and their bullshit, didn't know how to get it in. I tried to find a way to pause the cycle but I just ended up yanking on the door until I got my solution in the form of a flew pieces of plastic flying onto the floor. The residence lady didn't mention me having to pay any fines or anything, but having to move the quarter-washed clothes from one end of the laundry room to a drier on another was punishment enough methinks. Not to mention a girl coming in a few minutes later and using the detergent slot on the side of the washer in front of me. Y'know the slot on the side of the machine where you can put the detergent in after the cycle starts instead of busting the door open like my goofy ass did! Bless my fucking heart.
But it was about time I got acquainted with the amenities of the place, as after next week I'll probably be trying to stay here over the weekend. I had a kinda shit time at home cause of my family not giving me the personal space that I come home for. I love my roommate but I'm never really alone with her no matter how much space we give each other, but my family doesn't have that sort of stranger's courtesy so even thought they could, they don't always feel like giving me the space I would like. And I'd rather deal with the former right now..
I've also been finding places outside of my dorm to hang out on campus. There's no night light (or even an afternoon life) here, but it's a scenic place and I've been trying not to retreat to my room the second I'm done with classes. I find that being outside my living space helps me concentrate, cause I don't start thinking about the million other obligations I could try to get to, I'm just there with what I got so I do's it. That was always how I functioned with school - concentrating in the learning environment was a breeze but anywhere else was hell - so I'm happy to lean into that pattern.
From a Monday perspective the vibes are pretty alright. I'm finding my balance, familiarizing myself more with the place, etc. Living away from home always SOUNDED scarier than it was for a neet like me, but not I'm beginning to feel more comfortable out here more than anything.
This week's reccomendation is Defunctland's video on Splash Mountain and it's little known inspiration. I watched it with my mom and found it really fun, I enjoyed Perjurer's measured but biting remarks about the paternalism of the Uncle Remus Tales' legacy, and I very sadly cannot get Okefenoke out my fucking head.
Week 2
September 8, 2024
Week 2 is done already! Things are still going pretty smoothly for me so far, and I even managed to get a bit of a leg up on my homework before the weekend. Which I then kinda ruined by coming home and not doing what bit I had left (a very important bit), but er uh, oh well! I've been having the zoomies about a certain some-character, and reading the DSM to fixate on blorbo related Psychology instead of my actual damn Psychology homework. Which is going to be more important than ever now that I've actually switched to being a Psych major.
Yes, it took a week and a half of being a General Liberal Arts major but I'm finally done with that stuff and my course ahead looks pretty clear. In the middle of the week I also disregarded my immediate academic obligations to speculate about my future ones, and by snooping around the course selection, and major requirements I realized I WANTED to do Psychology (with a Sociology major maybe), and that I could at this point without sacrificing any of the extra peripheral ones I'm interested in. So at a point like that there was really no reason for me to sit in that glorified "undecided" track. I wanna do my two years at community college and then transfer to a very prestigious technology school around here :3c, which I talked about with an advisor but to really lock in I have to talk to someone from that other school who shows up like a few times a week, so that's something to look out for.
ONE more funny anecdote about my distractibility before I go - In the middle of the week I was going to download an assignment for my history class to type over in Word, when for some insane reason it downloaded as an HTML page? Like literally just an HTML page with header and inline CSS to make it look like a Word document? It kinda had me in hysterics, especially cause I assumed it was done to say "don't write on this, copy it over", but I accepted that challenge... Do instead of just straightforwardly completing my homework I wasted a few hours tinkering with the (frankly, disgustingly repetitive) HTML, and coded my answers in. I had to get that off my chest cause neither my classmates nor the teacher found that as funny as I did.
Also cause it made me realize... damn I already miss having coding projects so much. They're so grueling when you're in the thick of them, but when you're out of it you wanna jump back in. It's so rewarding to mess with... I have some fun ideas for this site but unfortunately I don't know about fitting them into my schedule anytime soon :<.
To the actual people in my college career, I'm warming up to that Sociology teacher as they themself seem to be getting a better feel for how to actually TEACH. Didn't stop me from writing in that they should be more assertive on an opinion sheet, nor did them awkwardly saying they were neurodivergent to someone within my earshot. Autism (or whatever they have) be damned though, if you're a real one you know how to force your interests down others throats, and that's what I want! I'm rooting for them as a fellow gay """neuro-spicy (their own words)""" humanities dorkwad!
Next week I'm looking forwards to my first essay in English where we were given one of those very open prompts about just writing deeply about anything from your experience. Through me a bit off, but now I think I'm gonna write about my experiences coming home on the weekends so far and connecting with my little brother. I talked about how we've been watching Sonic X, which is a nostalgic and surreal experience for me as someone who was really into the show when younger but only ever saw half of it through reruns. And this weekend because of a very special video essay, we were watching Wreck-It Ralph together and playing 'Spot The Sonic' as I did too when I was his age. His role is genuinely so minuscule but its like cocaine to a young Sonic nerd from back then seeing him in a movie.
I'm just having a lot of odd feelings seeing my younger self reflected in my little brother, and seemingly mostly because we're more apart now so we're more sentimental about the time we are together. I also have an anecdote to give about Stranger Things that I think would round out the idea of cycles of interests in media, and maybe I'll call the essay something like "Reflected In The Screen" - that sounds pretentious enough for an essay about my brother and I having the same Sonic hyperfixation, eh?
To be fun, I also wanna spice things up with a recommendation that I may or may not make a new staple of these blogs just to help myself sense where I was every week. Today's recommendation is: Randomalistic's Turbo/King Candy Analysis!
It is already as you say, canonical to my mind, as in it has been completely consuming it for a few weeks now. I finally forced my friends to watch it and the essayists AMAZING energy and enthusiasm sucked us all in. This is a video full of some Grade A Nuclear autism, and buddy, I'm dying of radiation poisoning! I am so obsessed with this character and movie now it's driving me crazy, and I have Random to thank! They're Turbo-tastic!
Week 1
September 1, 2024
Hey, Sunday seems like a good time to start a reflection on a week, it's kind of a magic day for me with his site. Really I wanted to start writing down my experiences fresh on Friday on my way home, but things were still a bit hectic. I spent the weekend watching Sonic X with my little brother, which I'd say was a very rewarding little distraction, if not for the fact it distracted me from unfinished homework reading which I would REALLY rather not get behind on so quickly!
But let's talk about that homework, shall we? I'm full time taking 5 courses: Advanced Composition, Global/'Non-Western' History, Sociology 101, Statsitics for Social Sciences, and Developmental Psychology. I am blessed to adore the subjects of all my classes, even Stat despite my disillusionment with math sometime in high school. Though I've preached being a Psychology Major, I'm taking General Liberal Arts just for that purpose of letting my love spread across the things I'm interested in, and I couldn't be happier with that decision so far.
My English teacher is a shining example of why I sought out starting above 101, and his energetic and communicative teaching style is already a hit with me. The teacher and students are definitely what's holding the Stats class up for me, as it's nice to be allowed to start side-tangents about analyzing data rather than just talking numbers all day. And though I've only really seen the psychology teacher once, I already really appreciate his dry sense of humor. It'll come in handy and probably speak to me as we go through this somewhat harrowing course across the human lifespan.
But there are some drags . . . My History teacher isn't BAD per se, but he isn't really giving much enthusiasm or interesting insight to the course so far. Which is on top of me thinking that the course would be an actual GLOBAL history and not just a grab bag of everyone outside of whatever "us" the academic world has constructed. My main interests have been West Asian history lately, and I was hoping for that to be covered in the course as well as that familiar in the European world, and what's new to me elsewhere. I feel like history is best understood when interconnected rather than when we create these artificial (and often racially motivated) dividers. But I digress.
My sociology teacher is a whole other beast though! You see. In middle school, I had a Spanish class that I took solely to get away from the tyrannical French teacher I had the year prior. But though easier, I found that Spanish class just as difficult to sit through. That teacher was so lenient and incapable of corralling the class of moody teens that she'd often just give up and stand quietly to the side WAITING for the students to check themselves, which would almost never come of course. It was pitiful then when I wasn't paying for the teacher's time, but seeing that sort of approach when I AM is just aggravating. IN THEIR DEFENSE, it hasn't LITERALLY gotten that bad, but if wasting 15 minutes at the start of day 2 trying to get students to suggest classroom rules is any indicator, it could become so at any point.
Despite my harshness and consideration of switching teachers, I'm somewhat fond of the teacher for their interest in the world of lefitst youtubers which is bound to be grounds for interesting conversation. Though from the looks of it, only coming from me. And a lot will come form me because just a few paragraphs into my overpriced sociology textbook, I realized that it may've just been the discipline I was truly looking for when I had my eyes on psychology!
I won't get too ahead of myself, but both those disciplines hold key perspectives on understanding and analyzing human nature, just from different ideological vantage points. And when I went to my dear sociology teacher about this realization of mine and their advice on how to bridge these two interests, they . . . kinda just looked at me funny and admitted they don't care much for psychology. This after I tried to strike a conversation with my psychology teacher about the transition between the impact of personal trauma vs normalized social violence on those with antisocial traits, and he also looked at me funny.
(Not to mention, before he tried to wiggle his fingers and warn me about the scary world of sociopathy, which I should have rolled my eyes at. It's become VERY amusing to me to realize this man has missed that whole era a few years ago where being obsessed with "True Crime" and case studies of serial killers was one of the biggest Girl Hobbies out there.)
But back to my search for professorial mentorship, I even tried to strike up a convo with my cool af english teacher on the subject because he mentioned he taught other humanities, but alas, not psychology or sociology. (Though he does teach a course on analyzing myths from around the world which I'm so excited to take next semester.) So for now I walk alone on my journey to find my true path in life, but hopefully if I annoy my teachers enough (show extra-ordinary engagement and excitement towards the material), they'll have me shipped off to somewhere where someone CAN give me the right advice. Perhaps even on a last-dollar scholarship if God wills it . . .
Genuinely, if that confusion from my teachers has given me anything, it's confidence that my new questions are pointing me towards a far more interesting future to base my collegic career upon. Psychology is a field I feel deep personal stake in, but sociology aligns more with my ideologies on how the social sciences should approach the world. So for my first week of college, my goal is to become The World's First Ethical Psychologist! (As second-hand horror stories nor personal experiences have led me to believe one yet exists - I'd love to change my mind.)
Besides academics, social life has been very smooth for me too. My roomate is very sweet and we're vibing well enough together. Outside our room we share a suite with 3 other girls, two of which seem like they're pretty party-oriented, but they're at least super chill. The 3rd girl lives in her own single room and is actually the Residential Assistant for our section of the building, which will come to be a blessing and a curse I presume. We also all happen to be gay except for one of the other duo lol.
Of clubs, I only KINDA got around to one, which I thought was a casual video game club but actually happened to be an open meeting for the atheletics Esports team of the school. The only game I could even feign competitive skill in is Splatoon, but it isn't part of the official leagues so there's no team for it. At least I gained a team to follow this year! The ACTUAL casual gaming club hasn't decided on their schedule yet, and there's a tabletop club that I would like to talk to about personal D&D stuff, but they literally meet for the duration of one of my classes, so I'm not sure what to do with them.
All-in-all, this has been a fantastic first week, and I'm super looking forwards to returning to school despite the comfort of my home and family. I'm just uh . . . nt looking forwards to how busy my Monday holiday will be with how Not Finished some of my lengthy assigned reading is. I'm getting graded on my abiliyt to hyperfixate basically, and I just pray they wheel of interest will keep landing where I need it to.